Gotta Go Fast!

After hearing Sega’s recent apology to their fanbase I couldn’t help but wonder what would actually come of it. I can appreciate the honesty regarding the complete flop of Sonic Boom and other tragedies such as Aliens: Colonial Marines. Part of me hopes for a revisit of older franchises such as Ristar, Phantasy Star or Streets of Rage. Yet those properties have never received as much love and adoration as their golden child, Sonic the Hedgehog. The years haven’t been kind to Sonic as he desperately grasped for any scrap of fleeting attention. Old mascots like Crash and Spyro merely fizzled out while Sonic suffered a much more devastating crash and slow burn, the start of which could be traced all the way back to the 90s. I’m not sure if I should ask why Sonic games are still being made or why there is even any demand for them in the first place. You can easily throw out the nostalgia answer and you’re probably right. I played my fair share of Sonic on the Sega Megadrive, yet every time I go back it’s just not as fun as I remembered. “You can say that for a lot of games” you might say, and yes that could be true. The point I’m trying to get at is – was Sonic ever really that good?

I’ll carry on elaborating my thoughts while I wait for you to post those letter bombs you’ve just prepared. Game Grumps have recently started playing through Sonic Adventure and Egoraptor’s constant criticism of the game (Along with most of the franchise) has garnered a lot of toxicity from the Sonic fanbase. I’m someone who both enjoyed Sonic Adventure while also enjoying Arin ripping it to shreds. It’s a game that - while certainly interesting in it’s own right – just…isn’t….that….good. Sonic has often been on the receiving end of scathing criticism and ridicule in comparison to various retro titles, so why is that? Let’s backtrack for a minute: back when Sonic was initially created, he was intended to rival Mario’s status and challenge Nintendo in the console wars. Given that video games were still a child’s activity more than anything, you would have to appeal to the tastes of your central audience and what they deem “cool”. Let’s keep in mind that “cool” in the 90s is extremely different to what we consider trendy now. Sonic was as 90s as you could get with his smug demeanour, colourful sneakers and most of all – speed. Extreme sports were big 20 years ago, when adrenaline junkies could only get their fulfilling high from performing dangerous and death defying stunts. What could be better than a daredevil for Sega’s rival platform? Mario could jump high but would merely run across the screen from start to finish. Sonic viewed the end point as a finish line and would race as quickly and fluently as possible. 

I’m going to use Sonic 2 as an example of classic Sonic, as it’s often considered the best in the original trilogy. It doesn’t take long for Sonic to blast through Green Hill Zone with little effort. In order to take advantage of the player’s speed capabilities, the levels are littered with various peaks and troughs to build momentum. This can lead to Sonic tumbling downhill at a blistering speed as he tears through Robotnik’s creations, ending in a dazzling somersault 30 feet into the air before crashing down onto the head of some unfortunate woodland mammal. It can be hard to resist such a show from Sega’s main machine at the time. Games like Super Mario World required a more methodical approach to overcoming obstacles. Metroid and Zelda were steeped in exploration while Ninja Gaiden was more about quick reflexes and trial and error. A mind blowing experience like this couldn’t really be on the Super Nintendo except for maybe F-Zero. It was the 90s, everything was bigger, flashier and most of all – faster. Sonic’s signature speed has been the main ideology for the entire series and a gameplay staple in all of the main titles. Given that platforming requires precise timing and accurate jumps, how does an emphasis on speed affect the overall quality of the game?

If we go back to Sonic 2, the second stage is the Chemical Plant Zone, which features a lot of the same thrills as Green Hill Zone. All of a sudden, most players would find themselves falling into a tanker filled with hazardous chemicals. This is one of the first instances of bringing the game to a screeching halt in order to punish the player for not timing their jump correctly. What follows next is a series of rising and lowering platforms requiring precise jumping strategies to land correctly but the problem is that this is done underwater which slows Sonic down considerably. Sonic awkwardly tumbles over to the next platform in what looks like slow motion, which is a sad sight from his previous efforts. What makes this worse is that Sonic can only stay underwater for a certain amount of time which can eventually lead to the poor hedgehog drowning to death. So while the game is brought down to a quarter of the speed of what it originally was, you’re expected to complete your task in a shorter amount of time. This is a jarring shift of tone from the previous levels which can throw the player off, requiring them to have to adapt to various conditions and hazards. But in practice, that’s not a bad thing – Donkey Kong Country has underwater levels that weren’t that great either, but the change of pace doesn’t mar the experience as much as it does for Sonic. It’d be like if a thrilling car chase in a John Woo movie took a breather so Chow Yun Fat could take a smoke break and refill his car. This is the first of many instances where Sonic is less about speed and a lot of issues become exposed. What’s worse is that the next level is a WATER LEVEL. The common video game cliché doesn’t escape the furry devil as one wrong jump can send you into a watery grave where you’re expected to complete large sections in slow motion. 

The game designers are generous enough to provide air bubbles to provide brief moments of relief to give Sonic some more time. This ends up in an awkward scenario where a cautious player would stand by every breath-stop waiting for an air bubble to appear to carry on with the next section – that’s not exactly the pulse pounding, energetic rollercoaster that Sonic is usually known for. “Well, you don’t have to fall into the water and you can stay above land if you’re careful” I am told. Yes, you can stay completely on ground provided you watch where you’re going and make sure to lookout for danger ahead. This, once again, leads to the more cautious player slowing down the pace and making sure there isn’t anything dangerous up ahead. Yet this is a far cry from what the ideal Sonic experience is supposed to be. Once you’re out of the watery miasma, you’re required to complete various obstacles and challenges that I won’t specifically go into but they often carry the same core problems. The game designers have a habit of placing various hazards and enemies right when Sonic starts to get going, sending him flying backwards further than Simon Belmont. It’s common for side scrollers to put several obstacles ahead of the player to teach them that you can’t just dive in with reckless abandon. Yet it feels frustrating to play it safe with Sonic as opposed to other characters. Sonic just doesn’t handle that well whenever you take it slow; there’s an awkward floaty jumping mechanic which never feels right and can be hard to predict his landing spot. It can also take a few seconds to get him rolling to a normal speed common for these kind of games. Remember the rapidly rolling downhill moment I mentioned earlier? Sadly the many downhill drops are paired with laborious uphill climbs which can be a chore if you find yourself in the wrong spot and have to traverse over. Sonic’s spin dash can help, but not always. 

This can lead to a scenario in which the player must backtrack to an earlier speed boost to get moving which can make for an overall awkward pace. It might not sound much but those few seconds when Sonic slows to a crawl can be almost agonising – it can be likened to having to walk behind an extremely slow person when you’re trying to get somewhere. A sense of “I know this can be done faster but it won’t happen” which just doesn’t really gel with what Sega initially promised. There are still good things though; I’ve always appreciated the ring system as opposed to the common “One hit and you’re dead” mechanics in other games at the time. But the idea of Sonic just doesn’t really live up to the reality of what it really is: a series of stop and start scenarios where all you want to do is just get back up to speed again and pull some crazy jumps. The slower parts have a lot of trouble finding their place in the game and doesn’t carry any sense of enjoyment. It’s not rhythmic like Donkey Kong Country or fluent like Super Mario Bros 3. Even slower games like the 8 bit Castlevanias have an appropriate tempo. Simon Belmont’s slow jump and plodding footsteps feel suitable for what the character is and what his capabilities are. “Well you just suck then”. Maybe I do but I’ve heard the “Stop and Start” criticism of Sonic being used before – I’m not exactly breaking new ground here. You can go online and look up several A-rank videos of top class players never missing a beat when it comes to Sonic but this often requires a lot of time and patience. Anyone can pick up and play Metroid or Zelda and eventually play it the way it was intended within a short amount of time but it often seems a lot of trial and error is required to play Sonic in the most appropriate way. And I’m not sure if this was Sega’s original intention or just a good idea not really living up to its promises.

Regardless of my rumination and analysis, the Sonic series launched with phenomenal success and saw many titles and sequels for the 16 bit era. 

Thank you for your terrifying deduction, Knuckles.

Sadly, Sonic had trouble finding his place once the advent of 3D launched and took over the entire platforming genre. After missing out completely on the Sega Saturn (with the exception of some spin off titles) a lot of people hoped he would get back into his groove and dazzle everyone with the power of the Sega Dreamcast. This lead to the title that I mentioned at the start of this video: Sonic Adventure. A few years had passed as other developers worked out how to fine tune gameplay within a 3D plane. Sonic was lagging behind other franchises like Mario, Spyro, Banjo Kazooie and Crash Bandicoot who all got a head start to figure out the kinks. Adding an extra dimension to Sonic’s scope opened up a lot of room for creativity but also gave the player more room for error. Moving from left to right on a digital d-pad was both restrictive but safe; now that we had moved to the age of analogue sticks, “up” can have various degrees of where you want to go. Moving up can still place Sonic slightly to the left or to the right. Add this control scheme to the complicated paths and spirals that Sonic is supposed to traverse and this can create a shaky game feel. Speed is still an issue, causing Sonic to divebomb into several traps and bottomless pits because you were two inches slightly from the left. 

There were good parts to Sonic Adventure; this can be seen in the first stage Emerald Coast, in which Sonic outruns a killer whale that destroys the path behind the player. This provides a temporary rush of adrenaline and gives an idea of what Sonic is ideally about. Egoraptor mentions this in the first video of the Game Grumps playthrough, stating “That shit sold the Dreamcast”. I remember seeing this on my cousin’s Dreamcast at the time; a moment like that was hard to top. Yet what Arin states shortly after stuck in my mind for a while: “All I did was press up”. A lot of the show-stealing moments in the Sonic games (particularly at the beginning) need to draw the player in to make them feel accomplished and capable of performing similar stunts. Yet in order to accommodate newer players they need to be hazard free and require little input from the player themselves. This leads to just having to press left or press up and jump a few times for the entire duration. It leads to a nice spectacle but it could probably get old after a while. So what is better for Sonic? A series of sightseeing tours with little gameplay depth or a collection of unpolished platforming hazards? I’m not entirely sure, I’m just trying to analyse what might be wrong with Sonic at a core level and why he might not be as durable as a lot of other retro gaming franchises. 

It didn’t help that Sonic Adventure suffered from an identity crisis. It initially looks as if it wants to do it’s own thing; a series of linear platforming levels and stages punctuated by cutscenes with a half-baked plot. Yet it starts to unravel this weird hubworld shortly after the first stage, which was what all of the platformers were doing at the time. This left the player to explore the dim, lifeless streets with brain dead NPCs and migraine inducing background music. The whole hubworld felt very token, as if it was just created because everyone else was doing it. Another odd feature of Sonic Adventure was the ability to play as several characters; Tails, Knuckles, Amy and even Big the fucking Cat. Yet the actual depth of these characters have never felt particularly captivating and just feel like Sonic with an extra paintjob and power up. (Tails is exempt from this criticism – who doesn’t love Tails?) What probably hurts Sonic Adventure the most is the god awful voice acting and facial animations. Every time Sonic talks is another opportunity for disaster; his eyebrows shuffle up and down while his mouth is nothing but an endless loop of a red circle opening and closing. There’s no fluidity or care taken into bringing these characters to life, a contrast to the success of the old Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon in the 90s. If you thought giving Samus a voice in Other M was the worst handling of a character I advise you to look at Sonic Adventure some more. Why does background music blare over the characters dialogue so much that it almost drowns them out? Why can Robotnik just take a chaos emerald by simply grabbing it out of Sonic’s hands without Sonic being able to do anything? Why do the villains and heroes just stand across the room and shout at each other for long periods of time without doing anything? Who penned this story?

But that doesn’t mean that Sonic Adventure was a complete loss, it delineated an interesting blueprint for what 3D Sonic could be. Sadly 3D Sonic got worse as Sega didn’t know what to do with it: Sonic Heroes only added to the problem of an over bloated cast of characters, Sonic Unleashed jumped on the dual world gameplay trend at the time and ripped off God of War and as for Sonic ’06, well…y’know. Sonic Generations came out in 2011 and served as a “Best Hits” compilation of the Sonic series, providing a modern interpretation of a level from each game – even Sonic ’06. (For some reason). To be concise, I had a lot of fun with Sonic Generations. It seemed as if it wanted to distil the elements of what made the series fun without too much complication. The story was just a standard time travel mess that didn’t try to be overly dramatic or take itself too seriously (Unlike Sonic ’06). While the cast of characters didn’t go away from this game, they didn’t feel as overly intrusive as they used to and were only ancillary to the main game as opposed to mandatory in Sonic Adventure. The hubworld wasn’t pushed into the game for the sake of it and was merely just a level select screen. And while the gameplay wasn’t perfect, it still felt fun and enjoyable without too much of the frustrations that plagued the earlier series. 

Also, the voice acting and facial animations didn’t suck complete balls. It seemed as if Sonic knew what it was and didn’t try to chase any trend or fad. It wasn’t an instant classic or a huge hit but I’d recommend it for a cheap price or a rental to get the most out of it. After beating the game I felt that, despite some core issues, there is still a lot of fun to be had with Sonic the Hedgehog. While there are many platforming franchises that have surpassed him in quality, Sonic has outlasted them all. Perhaps it’s something I’m overlooking or just don’t get but there does seem to be something to salvage from Sonic after all. Personally, I felt like Sonic Generations could have been the last game in franchise, as it encapsulated everything the franchise represented. Some of its flaws may have been exposed but there was still enough good in it to embrace it for what it was.

Sadly they followed it up with Sonic Boom which just looks like Sega are just falling into bad habits once again. At least we got some funny Let’s Playmoments out of it.

F@NT-FOUR-STICK: A Discussion and Comparison

When you see guys like Scott Lang and the Inhumans getting their own releases, you know that comic book movies are selling tickets and making money. Yet Marvel’s first family have always had trouble finding a breakout performance at the box office, both in a financial and critical sense. A lot of events leading up to this movie didn’t exactly inspire hope; from the tempestuous relationship between Josh Trank and the studio to Trank himself actually making Kate Mara cry. There’s even a sad story in which no one stopped the cast at comic con when they were walking freely among the crowds. It was as if no one knew or cared enough to bother – I’m not sure which is more depressing. I can’t help but feel that this is a movie that never wanted to be made; an idea that was painfully ripped out of a bubble of thought and thrown into terrifying reality. 

The only real thing this movie had going for it was the name value, hoping that it could muscle its way onto the stage with the other comic book blockbusters in the hope to make some cash and get some mileage out of Fox’s movie rights. But there’s only so much you can do with just a name - and on a superficial level, Fant4stic seems to understand the basic outline of what a superhero movie is. Yet it doesn’t care to take the time to understand the relationships between these characters and what makes them unique. The Fantastic Four were born in the silver age of comic books in which science fiction was a fountain of endless adventure, providing several scenarios across a spectrum of various colourful themes. Yet Fant4stic is devoid of all colour and is saturated in endless gloom and misery. Space is only a barren wasteland, reminding us how alone we are in the universe. This is one of the many misinterpretations of the source material provided by Fox. 

“It’s clobberin’ time” is a line used by Ben Grimm’s brother before he proceeds to physically abuse him. It is not a cute slogan to promote the team’s brand or a magazine headline, it is a line anchored by horrific mental and physical trauma that drives The Thing to commit acts of violence. That can sum up Fant4stic in a few sentences really. It doesn’t want to be an enjoyable romp for all the family, it takes every moment of levity and either replaces it with misery or nothing at all. Characters don’t appear to take much inspiration from the original comic book. Many fans raised their arms and cried “betrayal” towards the casting of Michael B Jordan as Johnny Storm but if anything, Jordan’s talent is completely wasted in this movie. In Chronicle, Jordan plays a cocky young punk who’s popular, successful and comes from a rich family. 

After becoming imbued with supernatural powers, he mostly uses them to show off and impress his friends. Jordan clearly has the ability the play Johnny Storm, as his character in Chronicle wasn’t all that different. Yet Johnny does not seem to exhibit any kind of laid back charm or retain anything that makes him likable. He mostly just scowls at his father, acts cold towards his sister and only uses his powers to deal with his daddy issues. There’s no opportunity for him to play the comedic relief that we all recognise him as. Change isn’t exactly a bad thing but the problem is that they go nowhere with this. He doesn’t seem to develop any kind of bond with his distant sister or really reconcile with his father. As I said before, they take away everything and replace it with nothing. 

This continues with the other members of the group. The movie takes the time to establish a close bond between Reed Richards and Ben Grimm yet this clearly falls apart halfway through the movie. A common trait of Reed Richards is that he carries the burden of forcing these powers onto his friends and family members. Guilt drives him to pursue every avenue possible to restore his friends back to normality. It’s obvious that Grimm has received the short end of the stick, due to his transformation into the Thing which robs him of his humanity. The movie seems to understand the relationship at a basic level but fails to grasp the depth between them. This is egregiously blatant when Reed abandons his three comrades for an entire year, claiming that he’s no good to anyone. When reunited with Grimm, it’s clear that the two are not friends anymore. There’s this clear aura of mean spirit that encapsulates this dynamic. It’s not a genuine act of friendship where Reed wants to help his friend. It’s as if Grimm is coercing him out of spite as a reluctant Richards acquiesces. Unsurprisingly enough, this relationship goes nowhere. They seem to be homies towards the end without any real discussion or talk or even a reason for trusting each other again. 

Which one is the black guy again?

The popular banter between Johnny Storm and The Thing is also removed for no reason and replaced with nothing. This movie is completely empty in both terms of character and story. The story’s pacing awkwardly hovers over scenarios for way too long, which eventually leads to a boring climax that never has any time to build drama or suspense. There’s no opportunity for the Fantastic Four to branch out into the public or interact with civilians – they don’t even converse in the Baxter Building. Most of the scenes take place in a science lab, a private military compound and the cold vacuum of space. This provides little variety or any real opportunity for the cast to embrace their supernatural capabilities. The story falls back on the boring cliché of “Private Military Corporations wanting to harness these powers”. Studios should enforce a new rule where PMCs can’t be used as a plot device anymore. The obvious topic of “Good guys defeat nasty villain” isn’t really that ground breaking either but that can be enhanced with good writing, profound character development and notable dynamics and storytelling. All of which are not found in this movie. Good guys get powers. Bad guy gets powers. Good guys beat bad guy by punching him really hard. End.

After seeing Fant4stic I watched the original 2005 release the same night. It wasn’t to serve as a palate cleanser but to remind myself if the movie was as bad as its 2015 counterpart. The 2005 flick is shockingly better in almost every aspect. If you’re curious to watch a Fantastic Four movie, I’d recommend this one. What’s funny is that this isn’t even a very good movie – the dialogue is particularly lame and cheesy and the story doesn’t really do enough to separate itself from the other releases at the time. What this movie did understand though was its characters. They all knew one another and had their own quirks and relationships. Sue and Reed had their back and forth romance, Johnny pulled pranks on Ben, Sue constantly scolded her brother for his misdeeds as Johnny used his powers to goof off on live television. Johnny Storm is actually likable and quick witted! Ben Grimm goes through his own story arc, in which he learns to cope with his condition and eventually accept himself. The 2015 release takes no time to show how Ben is feeling. Instead he’s thrown into the battlefield in the dried up PMC cliché. Yet the 2005 movie can make Ben a much more sympathetic character through simple scenes like watching him struggle to pick up a fork to eat. 

One particularly affective scene shows Ben trying to pick up his wife’s wedding ring after she leaves him; Reed eventually steps in and helps pick up the ring for Ben, and promises he’ll do everything he can to fix his best friend. It’s scenes like this that aren’t anywhere to be found in Fant4stic, despite its story having a longer time span. The original movie ostensibly takes place over a few weeks where as Fant4stic takes place over MORE THAN AN ENTIRE YEAR. The characters are still the same as they were at the beginning and are still emotionally distant from each other. The 2005 movie had moments of conflict between the heroes but there was reasonable motive and resolve afterwards, which reinforced the bonds between them. Fant4stic tries to be this serious, modern science fiction thriller yet is as bland and uninspiring as its colour palette. Fantastic Four (2005) hasn’t aged well in terms of dialogue and soundtrack yet it still ends up being the more charming and deeper film because it took the time to understand the characters and what makes them likable. 

It might seem that Josh Trank was initially a good choice for this movie considering his success with the movie Chronicle. Yet Chronicle was never much of a superhero movie to me; it had individuals with super powers but they were never used for heroic purposes. Chronicle shared more philosophy with Carrie and Akira than it did with Superman or Spiderman. It was a tale of how the downtrodden and meek can become society’s worst nightmare when equipped with powers beyond our comprehension. Fant4stic seems to follow in Chronicle’s footsteps; the powers aren’t really seen as gifts, only weapons for the military to regulate. The original transformation scene which shows the characters becoming fused with their powers is a gruesome visual, in which Johnny Storm is torched alive while Ben Grimm is crushed under a pile of rubble. Everything about this movie is ugly and depressing, yet the last five minutes want to be this happy resolution out of nowhere. Despite wanting to cash in on the success of the Superhero boom, this film does not want to be seen in the same light. It shuns its original source material by demanding to be seen in a more gritty and serious manner, yet it fails to carry anything profound or likable to make it superior in anyway. Gritty and serious does not make anything better, yet some superhero films (i.e. Man of Steel) are afraid to show any kind of colour out of fear of looking “silly” or “kid friendly”. Lines like “It’s Clobberin’ Time” or “Flame On” are either surrounded by dark origin or muttered under their breath like the writers are embarrassed over it. Susan Storm jokingly retorts at Victor Von Doom’s petty tirades, claiming “Get a load of Doctor Doom over here”. Comic book references and titles can’t be said or stated without some kind of ironic self-awareness. It’s as if the film is ashamed of its original source material. 

Perhaps this is similar to the same trend that plagued comic books in the 90’s, where everything was trying to be “super serious”. The Marvel films may have cringe worthy moments of Joss Whedon cheesiness but they still find the time to develop its characters and make something meaningful.

Mature interpretations aren’t automatically a bad thing (i.e. Watchmen) but maturity alone doesn’t make it successful. Mark Waid’s run on the Fantastic Four in the early 00’s featured some dark stories such as Reed Richards becoming disfigured and his son Franklin suffering from PTSD but the stories still had heart and weren’t afraid to smile every now and then. It also understood that the Fantastic Four were a family - they bickered back and forth, they had their quarrels, they sometimes needed their own space and time away but they would ultimately come back to each other. At the end of the day, they understood one another and had deep bond between all of them. The 2005 movie at least understood this somewhat with the characters having known each other for a long time at the start of the movie and becoming even closer towards the end. Fant4stic doesn’t attempt this, with most cast members not knowing one another at the start. That isn’t initially a bad thing but no attempt is made for these characters to grow together. 

This entire film feels lost and alone. Fox should have followed in the footsteps of Sony and lent the movie rights to Marvel. The Marvel Studios interpretation of the cosmic universe would make Jim Starlin proud. There would be a place for the Fantastic Four both on earth and across the galaxy but right now they’re trapped in an awkward limbo with no real identity to what makes them special. While the Avengers are more of a supergroup, the Fantastic Four are a family which makes them stand out and gives writers the opportunity to create deeper relationships and dynamics. This could give Marvel a lot to work with.

Also I just want to see The Thing, Hulk and Groot in a triple threat death match. Is that so much to ask for?!